When you first accept a proposal of marriage, the first thoughts of many brides-to-be is ‘Oh My God I’ve got to plan a wedding..!’ Everyone knows that planning a wedding can cost an arm and a leg if you’re not careful, and can be more stressful than moving house and becoming a pilot – combined! But increasingly what is starting to prey on the minds of many a hip, modern girl is becoming ‘THE BRIDE’.
You know the one. The girl who can’t talk about anything but THE WEDDING. The one who goes shopping and instead of heading for her usual fix at Top Shop heads straight for the crystal department in the local department store. The one who develops a sudden interest in checking out bakeries at the weekend, has long conversations about the merits of sugar roses over sugared almonds, and carries swatches in her purse so she can match up her colours with her bridesmaid outfits. If any of your close friends or family have ever got married, you’ll know the dilemma of embracing the romance of creating your perfect wedding day, whilst being super annoying to everyone around you!! The bride-to-be can think she is going to be cool and laid-back and then finds herself arguing with her Mum over the amount of greenery in her bouquet.
There are ways to avoid the obvious pitfalls of becoming THE BRIDE - send all your friends a non-wedding e-mail or text at least once a day, declare some ‘wedding-free’ weekends, go shopping for non-bridal clothing, and be sure to discuss politics, career, films and sex in great amounts. Try to hold on the fact that you are still ‘Susy’ (or whatever your name is) who just happens to be getting married in six months
However, romance is a funny thing, and even if you think you can keep focused on your everyday life, you may find that the world is against your plan to avoid becoming THE BRIDE. You may discover that every morning, you’ll receive 10 different e-mails about weddings – email alerts from the one site that you logged on to, in a momentary lapse, when you were searching for wedding dress ideas that has now made a killing selling your details to other ‘relevant’ wedding sites. Sites that assume that now you are getting married, you must need new furniture for your new home, or a host of beauty products and lingerie for your big day (not that we’re disputing this but you might not want to receive a bombardment of emails reminding you…!)
Between the offers of crystal, china, flower girl dresses and magazine subscriptions, it can be hard to hold on to your day job – and your sanity. People that you barely know at work will come up to you and ask me how the planning is going. ‘Have you picked your venue?’ ‘Do you know what the bridesmaids are wearing?’ ‘What’s the bouquets going to look like?’ Unfortunately, a curt ‘I don’t know’ in an attempt to dampen down over-enthusiastic wedding interest just might not cut it. Plead ignorance and you may well be reminded that your wedding is ‘just around the corner’ instilling both quiet panic and rising irritation at the same time!
As wonderful as your friends might be, even they can be invariably sucked in to the notion that all women love weddings. You may well find yourself talking about all the weddings they’ve been to, and receiving well-intentioned ‘presents’ of wedding magazines may well become the norm. Frequently these are girls who are hell-bent on building a career and who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing pink, yet they are discussing bows and flower arrangements ad nauseum. Such is the power of romance, don’t assume anyone is immune to this need to fulfil ‘every little girl’s dream’. Society has made sure that every girl longs to be ‘the BRIDE,’ and if they aren’t ‘the BRIDE’ at the moment, then surely they long to be ‘the BRIDESMAID’….??
Your days of fighting against becoming THE BRIDE will eventually dwindle. Eventually you may well succumb to huddling in the wedding section of the bookstore, staring at bouquets and centerpieces, wandering around the china departments, and realising that there is nothing is you want, because suddenly you do care. You may well find yourself discussing fabrics with your mum or your sister for 45 minutes, and lingering over whether to go for ‘orchid’ or ‘ivory’. Weddings are just infectious!
In an effort to save yourself from total immersion give some of the decisions to the ‘other half-to-be’. Rather than worrying, discussing details or pleading ignorance when you get the barrage of questions, simply reply ‘oh, my fiance wants to help, so he’s handling it’. That way you can still be THE BRIDE, but enjoy planning your wedding, as the most perfect day of your life, quietly and without giving in to being the public BRIDE.
Enjoy your day!